He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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