yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize