Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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