its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize