Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
