So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
