It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
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A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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