I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
