I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found a bag of teeth...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
