Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
