All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
