You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
