69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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