This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
