the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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