I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
