I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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