He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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