She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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