Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize