I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
