the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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