we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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