I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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