she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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