There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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