you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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