What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
