if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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