I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My penis needs a shock collar
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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