It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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