well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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