dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
