This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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