we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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