I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
