Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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