I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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