Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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