I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
