I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
