READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
