so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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