Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize