do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
