im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize