I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
