I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize