well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
