i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
