My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize