and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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