I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am midnight drunk by noon
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
