twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
